On paper, we’ve made progress.

Women can build careers. Lead organisations. Earn, influence, decide. And yet… many women, particularly mothers, are more exhausted than ever. Because alongside this progress, something quieter has emerged:

An unspoken expectation that we should be able to do everything.

Work like we don’t have children. Parent like we don’t have work. Hold it all together seamlessly.

The Reality: The Double Load

Research consistently shows that women still carry the majority of unpaid labour at home. In the UK, women do around 60% more unpaid work than men (ONS), even when working full time.

Then there’s the mental load… the invisible layer:

  • Remembering appointments
  • Planning meals
  • Anticipating needs
  • Holding the emotional climate of the household

It’s not just what you do. It’s what you carry. And it doesn’t switch off at 5pm.

The Pressure: Performing “Having It All”

We’ve moved from fighting for access…to managing expectation.

Success is no longer just about participation, it’s about optimisation. Be present at work. Be present at home. Be healthy. Be organised. Be calm. And ideally, make it look effortless.

This is where the strain builds. Because the system has evolved faster than the support structures around it.

The Cost: Erosion of Self

Over time, this constant balancing act can lead to:

  • Chronic overwhelm
  • Guilt (in both directions: work and home)
  • A quiet loss of identity

You become highly functional…but increasingly disconnected from what you actually need.

The Shift: From Capacity to Boundaries

The answer isn’t to become more efficient. It’s to become more intentional.

Not: How do I do it all? But: What is mine to carry, and what isn’t?

This is where boundaries come in. Not as rigid lines, but as conscious choices. What you say yes to. What you let go of. What you stop holding alone.

Rooted and Rising

“Rooted and rising” offers a different way to navigate this era.

Rooted in:

  • Your limits (they are real, and they matter)
  • Your values (not the ones you’ve inherited, but the ones you choose)
  • Your energy (a finite resource, not an infinite one)

Rising into:

  • Clearer communication
  • More sustainable ways of working and living
  • A version of success that actually fits your life

Final Thought

This isn’t a personal failure. It’s a structural tension playing out in individual lives. And while we may not be able to change the whole system overnight, we can change how we respond within it.

By noticing the load we’re carrying. By questioning what’s expected. By setting boundaries that protect what matters most. Not perfectly. But intentionally. Because you don’t have to hold everything…to hold what matters.

Rooted. And rising.

Laura Fenton is the founder of Rooted and Rising and an ICF accredited coach. She works with those at a turning point in work and life, especially working parents finding their way back to purpose, confidence and direction. Her approach draws on a background in occupational psychology, fifteen years leading change in large organisations, and her own life as a working mother.