One of the many artful skills of being a coach is supporting our client’s to shift their disempowering perspectives into more empowering ones! There are always so many and varied ways of looking at things: different stories, beliefs and experiences we can choose to focus on and take on and embody into our system – our mind, body, heart and soul. Importantly, as a coach, we can support our clients to re-frame unsupportive beliefs so they can choose empowering beliefs, make energising decisions and put positive action – or non-action – into place.
Re-framing is a skill which enables the process of change to take place. For example, new coaches may hold the belief ‘I can’t start my coaching until I get my coaching certificate ’. Choosing to believe this is most likely going to be disempowering and de-energising and will stop the decision to move forward. However, if reframed to ‘I’m trained so I can start coaching immediately’, or ‘my certificate is on the way, so I can start using everything I’ve learnt to coach now’ – can have an immediate positive impact on our mind, body, and energy. And it ultimately supports the actions we decide to take.
You can test this concept out by talking about and focusing on a positive belief right now and notice the changes that happen in your outlook, energy and physiology as you do.
The type of language we use to speak, both to ourselves and to others, plays an important and powerful role in programming our body and mind to notice other perspectives and the many possibilities surrounding us. If we ask ourselves different, challenging and opening up types of questions, we can create different better outcomes. Questions like:
Supporting your clients to tap into their resourcefulness is the key to identifying new powerful re-framing. Author Dr John Demartini says, ‘there are two sides to everything’. People often become addicted to just one side of their story, which can create the same results and experiences, which has a negative impact. As a coach, you can support the client to challenge these addictions or habits of possibly limiting beliefs and assist them to reframe their language enabling new empowering perspectives by asking thought provoking questions.
And if you have strong trust and rapport with a client, you could be even more provocative by agreeing with their statement, such as, ‘Well, of course you CAN’T!’. By being provocative, you can potentially create that spark, where the client see’s the challenge to reframe what they have shared, and that they can actually do what they say they can’t.
Practice using the skills of deep listening and powerful questioning to support your client to reframe and find new ways of finding different perspectives, ways of speaking and ways of being in the world. Turn the “I can’t“ into “I can“ and even more powerfully “I will“!
Marie Quigley is a Master Certified Coach, Coach Supervisor, Trainer and Facilitator. She partners with senior leaders and high potentials in multi-national organisations supporting them as they lead through change, transition into higher roles and manage complex cultural business opportunities.
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